To live
by Haraldzidla
Summary: Ron and Hermione break up and this is how Hermione feels. One shot For those who knows what a broken heart feels like.
1. Chapter 1

**This is so different from what I normally do but I had to write it down on paper, my boyfriend and I just broke up after two and a half years and this is what I was feeling.**

**I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTORS!**

**For the person I watched go from a boy to a man, and the only person who I have ever loved.**

**To live**

My mother had once said to me that to feel is to live, that to be human we had to feel it all, the happiness, the pain, the joy, the despair, the love and the loss.

Suddenly I wished that I was not human.

I had never wanted it to end like this, in fact I had never wanted it to end at all. In my dreams we would stay together forever, get married and have children but some how I did not think that my childhood dreams of the perfect relationship were going to come true just yet. I loved Ron, with probably everything that I was but we both understood that it was not going to work, we were fighting all the time and on occasions it seemed like we could not stand to be in the way room as one another.

The hard thing was that I did not blame him for this one bit because I knew that it had been me that was to blame this time. He had done nothing but love me, look at me with admiration and try to make me a better person but every time he got close, every time that he tried to get some where with me I would push him away and shut myself out from him.

I would lie, cheat and act like I did not care…and I had no idea why.

I was laying on my bed, crying and trying to stop my heart from hurting, something was twisting it, making me bend over in pain, it was like I could not think straight and I could see myself being sick from it. I wanted to run to scream and yell but at the same time I was horribly aware that I could never move from this bed, my mind was screaming to go some where, any where but the pain in my heart was weighting me down.

He had been my boyfriend, me best friend and everything that I ever thought that I would need and now he was gone because I had been stupid enough to walk away and think that I would handle it but it was scarily plain to see that I was falling apart. That if I could do it again that I would get down on my knees and cry, beg for him to stay with me and never let go.

That night I prayed, I was prayed that I would see him again, even if it was with another girl, just so I could see him smile, the smile that I took away from him.

I had loved.

I had lost.

I had lived.

**Review please!**

**Haraldzidla**


	2. To live and love once more

**To live and love once more.**

I sighed as I leaned into his body and allowed my body to relax, it had been a long day and it felt good to finally be able to sit down with him and not worry about anything. His smiled down at me before kissing the top of my head and looking back at the television. Every night seemed to be like this one and it felt good to know that my life was going back to normal, I looked at the clock as another minute ticked away and I could feel my body becoming restless. I was almost free.

_11.55_

It had been six months since I had left Ron and while I had been so close to going back to him more then once I knew that being here was the right place for me. I knew that it was better this way, for the both of us.

_11.56_

I had started dating him three year ago today and with every passing minute I could feel my heart become lighter, I had thought that it would be hard or that today would be different from all of the others but it hadn't been. I was here, sitting with the person who had made me alright again and who had made the pain stop and nothing else but that seemed to matter anymore.

_11.57_

I closed my eyes and could feel sleep slowly starting to take over my body, all of the pain seemed so silly now and I wondered why it ever hurt so much to be without him. He had been my best friend and I was always going to have a place for him in my heart but that was it. I could remember him and smile now, smile at the way he made me laugh when I was sad and the way he looked after me when I was scared.

_11.58._

"You alright?" a small voice whispered next to me. I looked up slightly and smiled when I saw him looking at me, worry in his eyes. I loved my muggle life but I had never thought that I would end up with one, I had always thought that it would be a wizard who won my heart. I had been wrong.

_11.59_

"I'm fine" I replied as I lightly kissed him and placed my head back on his chest.

_00.00_

Another minute passed and I smiled as allowed sleep to finally over take me, I was fine, safe and happy.

I had done it.

And the pain was gone.

_Finally._


End file.
